Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Letter from Grandpa - Anonymous Author

Letter from Grandpa

John is 63 years old and owns his own business, and sees his dream of Retiring next year is now all but gone. With the Stock market crashing and all the new taxes coming His way, John knows he will be working for many more years.

John has a Granddaughter, a recent College grad. She drives a late model car, wears All the latest fashions, and also likes going out a lot. Ashley campaigned hard for Obama, and after he won the election she made sure Her Grandfather (and all other Republican family Members) received more than an earful on how the World is going to be a much better place now that Obama won the election.

Ashley recently found herself short of cash and Cannot pay her bills, again. As she has done many Other times in the past, she e-mailed her Grandfather asking for some financial help. Here Is his reply:


I am replying to your request for more money. Ashley, you know I love you dearly and am Sympathetic to your financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the Election of President Obama, your Grandmother and I have had to set forth a bold new economic plan Of our own.....the 'Ashley Economic Plan'. Let me Explain. Your grandmother and I are highly Productive, wage-earning tax payers. As you know, We have lived a comfortable life and in return Have forgone many things like fancy vacations, Luxury cars, etc. We have worked hard and were Looking forward to retiring soon. But this plan Has changed. Your president is significantly Raising our personal and business taxes.. He says It is so he can give our hard earned money to Other people. Do you know what this means ? It means less income for us. Less income means we Must cut back on many business and personal Expenditures. One example is, we were forced to Let go of our receptionist today. You know her. She always gave you candy when you Visited my office. Did you know she worked for us For the past 18 years? I can't afford her anymore.

That is a taste of the business side. Some Personal economic affects of Obama's new taxation Policies include none other than you. You know That over the years your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in cash, Tuition, food, housing, clothing, Gifts, etc. By your vote, you have chosen Another family over ours for help. Judging from Your Email requesting more money, I recommend you Call 202-456-1111. That is the direct telephone Number for the White House. You yourself Repeatedly told me I was foolish to vote Republican. You said Mr. Obama is going to be the people's president and is going to help every American live a better life. Based upon everything You have told me and things we heard from him as He campaigned, I am sure Mr. Obama will be happy To send a check or transfer money into your Checking account. Have him call me for the Transaction and account numbers, which by now I Know by heart.

Perhaps you now can understand what I have been Saying for all my life: those who vote for the President should consider what the impact of an Election will be on the nation as a whole, and not Just be concerned with what they can get for Themselves (welfare, etc.).. What Obama voters Don't seem to realize is all of the "government" Money he is 'redistributing' to illegal aliens and Non-taxpaying Americans (deemed "less fortunate") Comes from tax money collected from income Tax-paying families. Remember how you told me, "Only the richest of the rich will be affected"? Guess what ? Because of our business, your Grandmother and I are now considered to be the Richest of the rich. On paper, it might look that Way. But in the real world, we are far from it. But, as you said while campaigning for Obama, some People will have to carry more of the burden so All of America can prosper. You understand what That means, right? It means that raising taxes on Productive people results in them having less Money. Less money for everything, including Granddaughters.

Congratulations on your choice for "change". For Future reference, I encourage you to attempt to Add up the total value of the gifts and money You've received from us over the years, and Compare it to what you expect to get over the next Four years from Mr. Obama.

Remember, we love you dearly... But from now on You'll need to call the number referenced above When you need help".

Good luck, sweetheart.

Love, Grandpa

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Some Funny Bumper Stickers

Someone sent these to me, and I thought they were funny enough to share. I did not make them, nor do I know where they came from. I have seen a couple of them floating around before. A few of them are new to me however.

Kick me in the a$$

Katie Couric, Keith Olberman, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Gunnery Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken."
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Keith Olberman "I'm living in New York , so I'd like to hear Sinatra sing "New York, New York" one last time."
The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with an old 33 rpm record and played the song. Olberman was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and asked, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader, "Why do you mock Allah in your last hour?" No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm into six terrorists, then grabbed a knife and slashed the throat of one more, and with an AK-47 which he took from the now-dead terrorist leader, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Couric, Olberman, and Williams, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?"

"What!?!" replied the Marine... "and have you three REMF a-holes report that I was the aggressor....?" Semper Fi!